Sickness. (Monday Moments #38)

          She had cancer. This news hit her harder than a truck. At least getting hit by a truck meant instant death. But this? Cancer? It was prolonged death. She sat on her bed thinking about the past. The fear of dying does this to people. Your entire life flashes before you. She remembered her childhood, college, marriage and kids. She was 61 but she felt much older. She had an inoperable disease and this scared her. Doctors had given her a life statement of 2 to 3 weeks. She found it utterly obnoxious how the world works. She was away from smoking and drinking. She knew these things would kill her sooner. But, now it all seemed like a big joke. She never took risks with people for the fear of losing them. But now, she was a single widow staying alone in an apartment making her own living. Somehow she lost herself in the process. The chemotherapy sessions sounded like giving away parts of her soul, one at a time. She couldn’t hold it in her. Instead of crying, she exploded in a roar of laughter. She was going to die! The woman who did everything perfectly, never disrespected anyone, never went the wrong way, lived on ideal beliefs, has now gotten cancer! How often does that happen? At that moment, she had embraced cancer and let it settle within her instead of fighting it out. She had given up a battle she knew she’d lose. She could’ve given up fighting. But, she just settled, like she did all of her life.

(‘Monday Moments’ is a blog series wherein I write about an incident or a moment in a short paragraph. It’s not a story, but just a short description to express and explore the most common joys and also the uncommon miseries.)