Book Recommendation: Em and the Big Hoom

Posted On November 20, 2023

Hi Readers! Last week I officially went into my anxious I-have-got-to-read 80 books this year frenzy. This set me on a path to read short books. I don’t typically enjoy them and few of them have also shoved me in the reading slump in the past, almost like a punishment for taking a shortcut. But, the first short book I read last week I absolutely loved! It is unique in its story telling, perfectly imperfect in its characterization and will definitely leave you in tears. So, would definitely recommend.

Trigger Warnings: Death, Suicide, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Schizophrenia, Mania.

~~GOODREADS DESCRIPTION~~

In a one-bedroom-hall-kitchen in Mahim, Bombay, through the last decades of the twentieth century, lived four love-battered Mendeses: mother, father, son and daughter. Between Em, the mother, driven frequently to hospital after her failed suicide attempts, and The Big Hoom, the father, trying to hold things together as best he could, they tried to be a family.

~~THOUGHTS~~

“Conversations with Em could be like wandering in a town you had never seen before, where every path you took might change course midway and take you with it. You had to keep finding your way back to the main street in order to get anywhere.”

Em and the Big Hoom is a combination of a love story and a life story. In the love story, we see Em (Imelda) meet The Big Hoom (Augustine) and how they have a relationship for twelve years which culminates into a marriage and two children. During this comes the life story of survival. Em’s survival of mental illnesses/bipolar disorder and her family’s survival of her. The balance between the two was written perfectly with not too much of either story. There isn’t exactly a well-marked structure to the book, but it never leaves the reader in confusion, so it works well.

I absolutely loved all the characters in the Mendes family. Each of the four are written with thought, passion and belief. Em, when not unwell, is an unconventional woman, belligerent and confident to talk about anything with her children and certainly not just a next-door wife. There is never a dull or awkward moment with her. Next, the Big Hoom is such a stoic gentleman and the calm to the storm of Em. He is never threatened of either Em’s big personality or her illnesses. Em’s son, who narrates the story is so fragile and afraid of living and being because all he has seen his entire life is instability. Susan, who is Em’s elder daughter is relatively more mature, but also always cautious of being. I think the characters are the way they are because of extreme thought put into them by the author.

This book sheds so much light on how it is to live with someone with a mental illness. There is a tremendous amount of ambiguity surrounding how Em will react, not the next week or the next day, but in the next moment. Will it be a high high or a low low? The children wonder & have a premature fear if they have these genes that will make them mad too. When they get a phone call or a neighbour shows up, they can’t help but this, did she die? When they themselves have a weird thought, they think is this because of mother’s genes? Will I end up like her too? It shows us how the concept of home changes meaning entirely. Your own home cannot be a safe space anymore. You don’t long to be home because you don’t know who will greet you – your loving and loud mother or your ill mother. Little paragraphs in this book have the power to drive you to a life-long worth of emotions leaving you helpless and heartbroken.

Towards the end, we also read about how mental hospitals are mentioned as a human dumping ground because their families don’t want to be associated with them anymore. What could be worse? In 2023, we read about mental health all the time. But, we need to continue to be vocal about it because taking care of your mental health is just as normal as taking care of your physical health. This book was published in 2012 which is not that long ago, so it breaks my heart to think about the people who were never diagnosed or treated but just considered as crazy. I loved everything about this book and I think everyone should read it (after considering the triggers.) I have rated Em and The Big Hoom by Jerry Pinto at 4.5/5 stars!

Until next time,