Book Recommendation: That Long Silence by Shashi Deshpande

Posted On August 5, 2023

Hi Readers! In August, I am participating in two reading challenges. There’s the Women in Translation Month for which I already read I Who Have Never Know Men by Jacqueline Harpman. And now for Discovering India Readathon hosted by Padmaja (thebookishtales) and Avani (thequirkyblubookshelf), I have read That Long Silence by Shashi Deshpande, which was an exquisite read. I thought it would be difficult it to share my thoughts on this book, but when I started, I couldn’t stop. Happy Review Reading!

~~GOODREADS DESCRIPTION~~

Jaya’s life comes apart at the seams when her husband is asked to leave his job while allegations of business malpractice against him are investigated. Her familiar existence disrupted, her husband’s reputation in question and their future as a family in jeopardy, Jaya, a failed writer, is haunted by memories of the past. Differences with her husband, frustrations in their seventeen-year-old marriage, disappointment in her two teenage children, the claustrophobia of her childhood—all begin to surface. In her small suburban Bombay flat, Jaya grapples with these and other truths about herself—among them her failure at writing and her fear of anger. Shashi Deshpande gives us an exceptionally accomplished portrayal of a woman trying to erase a ‘long silence’ begun in childhood and rooted in herself and in the constraints of her life.

~~THOUGHTS~~

This book was published in 1989, so I would like to believe that the portrayal of a wife has changed a lot over the years. But, given the fact that I could find Jaya’s life all too feasible made me sad. Despite people being vocal about gender equity, this story sounds all too familiar and probably represents the major women population who are in their 50s and 60s. If I start talking about this, it would be endless, so I am going to stick to my thoughts on the book alone.

To me, That Long Silence was multi-faceted, not only in its depiction of the role of a wife, but also in depiction of various familial bonds. Yes, the tip of the iceberg is about a woman’s silence, or rather her assumptive passive agreement to everything that has to do with a marriage; selecting a husband, the wedding, having sex, changing houses, having a career, having children, and just every decision, minor and major. It talks about how a woman’s life looks fulfilled because it consists of a husband, family, children and homes. But, when you separate all of these from the woman, who is she? If not a wife, mother, daughter, sister, or friend, then what is her identity?

“But there was no answer to the question. It seemed to be flung into an abyss. Nothing returned, not even an echo. The stillness, the silence reminded me of something. It was like sitting in a stationary train. There is movement, bustle, noise all about you, your train is gathering speed, and you’re off. Then the sudden shocking silence and the gleaming rails outside tell you it was the other train that has left, the other train that moved away. Your own movement has been only an illusion. You are right where you were all along.”

The story is imbibed in the patriarchy and the assigned roles for a husband and a wife. The mere thought of a girl asking why the boys never help in the kitchen leaves the women in a roar of laughter. Just the thought of ‘allowing’ his wife to work sounds to the husband as if he has progressive thoughts. Just the thought of a wife not knowing her husband truly feels to her that she failed her job, because being a wife feels and is like a job to her. The reversal of husband waiting for his wife to come home strikes both of them as odd because they only ever knew the opposite. The act of pretending to be scared of lizards and cockroaches just so the husband would feel safe in his manhood. The fact that the husband had a missing button on his shirt was not his fault but his wife’s for not noticing and tending to his every need. Husbands gaslighting wives that the latter have all the power because the former are completely dependent on something that are basic survival skills. The way in which consent is just assumed because you are married.

The sad rage that fills the reader when wives restrain themselves on showcasing their real emotions because they would be called unwomanly. The sad rage of knowing that women are absent from family trees because you are a woman without whom there would be no family, let alone any branches.

“The relation of man to woman is the most natural of one person to another.

Natural? There’s only treachery, only deceit, only betrayal.”

Another layer which subtly focuses on the raw human emotions is how a person behaves dictated by the ignanimous ‘society’. The very real picture is how so many adults have a friendship based on convenience but is entirely hollow. Knowing a person’s family, job, lifestyle, routine is not friendship. It’s the knowing of the heart, mind and soul. Being connected to your family does not mean knowing how old they are or when their anniversary is. It’s about knowing their struggles and how they cope on a daily basis.

There are also so many primal unfiltered thoughts spread out across the novel too. These are the thoughts we too have, but perhaps the space we give them is 1 out of 10 wherein the rest are all happy and not unusual. How we think that our loved ones might be dead just because they’re late to come home. How we feel safe about our sanity after meeting someone who is visibly struggling with mental health. The very basic way in which you love your children but maybe don’t really like them. And also, how you are grateful to your aging parents but don’t really want them to come stay with you in their last days. The selfish act of feeling good about yourself because you gave money, equivalent to a second of your lifestyle, to a blind beggar and her baby. Such primal unfiltered thoughts that remain thoughts because no one ever dares to speak them out loud are explored in this book with utmost sensitivity yet without restraint. It was meant to be unsettling and uncomfortable and in its true right it was.

~~FINAL THOUGHTS~~

I felt that this book was brilliant. It’s structure was not perfect with a lot of random discontinuous writing throughout, but it never made me lose my train of thought and focus. At times, it made me wonder how many women really go through such similar lives. Most of the time I was reading, the book made me profoundly sad in a way that brought clarity. I will not stop recommending this book any time soon. I have rated That Long Silence by Shashi Deshpande at 4.5/5 stars!

Until next time,