Some of us get easily attached to people. Once befriended, we want to know everything about them. Then we start thinking about them, caring for them and end up getting attached in no time. But somewhere amidst all that caring and loving, we forget about caring and loving ourselves. If the attachment is both ways, then the relation can move mountains. But if it’s one sided and you’re on that side, then well, you’re doomed. You start getting your hopes up but then those expectations always hurt.
I reached that point where I just wanted to stay alone. I didn’t want to talk to anybody. So, I uninstalled this social media chatting app, Whatsapp, which I used constantly. Checking last seen at. Checking the read receipts. Checking status and display pictures of all random people who I don’t know why exist on my contact list. It’s just so much of a waste to think, care and love people who don’t give crap about me. So I just removed that stupid app with all its neurotic features which creates distance rather than bridging it. I was on a one-week Whatsapp hiatus. There were stages after I uninstalled it. I felt I shouldn’t have done that. Then I had an urging need to install it back again. But after 3 days, I was completely fine without it. To be honest, I didn’t get a headache ever since I removed it. It was really calming. I felt like I was on a cloud, isolated from the world. And I have to admit, it feels good. Sometimes when you are done with people, just take a break from them. Detach, for your own good. It can be damned difficult but once you think over it, you will be the one embracing happiness. Here’s what you should do about detachment.
1. Think:
Once you have cut cords with the world or taken your intellectual getaway, just think. Think about everything that’s going on in your life. And talk aloud with yourself. (That’s not crazy. In fact, it’s a sign you’re a genious.) When you clear your head, you’ll get a clear vision. Your perspective towards some people might change. When you put yourself in their position and see that you’re just an option to them, then you’ll realise how easy it is to detach. If you stop interacting and they stop interacting as well, you’ll get your answer. And i isn’t just about people. When you’re detaching, you’re just stepping away from your life. And sometimes you see things better from a distance. It’ll help you know whether you really love yourself or whether you really want to do what you’re doing and all sorts of aspects.
2. Love Yourself:
Don’t be too hard on yourself. We all make mistakes and pay for them. But that’s how we learn. So if you feel like some relationships are just toxic, then step away. Simple to say, difficult to implement but that’s how it is. Great things take time and you need to give yourself that time to be awesome again. Just be kind and love yourself.
3. Value Real People:
You’ll meet people who remember you during exams, people who remember you when they’re in a problem, people who’ll say one thing to your face and another thing behind your back and just selfish people. But you’ll also meet people who’ll be true to you, people who’ll love you in all your forms and just wonderful people. You only need those people. Such rare and precious people should be treasured. When I went on a hiatus, I wanted to see who’ll actually bother to notice. And I’m glad that a few friends did. (Divya, I love you babe!)
4. Use the Time:
Once you decide to just let it go, you’ll realise how much free time there is. There’s time saved from worrying meaninglessly because you don’t know what people are doing. There’s time saved from thinking about people who don’t even matter. There’s time saved from all the drama, to be precise. I was so relieved. I used this time effectively to study, read and write.
5. Solitude:
Oh the solitude! I’ll let the silence speak for itself.
Have you experienced the need for detachment? How do you manage it?
Hello! I'm Aishwarya, an Introverted bookworm & writer. I have been reviewing books since 6 years on my blog - Mindscape in Words. My favourite genres are Historical Fiction, Mystery, Thrillers, Magical Realism, Poetry, Fantasy & Memoirs. I like the kind of books which evoke emotions on several levels leaving me wrecked, but also incredibly content.
I'm dreaming for the world to paint a landscape full of words, more like Mindscape in Words. Hope you enjoy the view.
I love this! It is so true. I haven't heard of this app but it sounds scary haha as someone who work in psychology it is crazy to think that people get anxiety from not having their electronics or to see how reliant they become of social media apps. Thanks for your insight!
There definitely has to be a balance. We all need times of solitude, but we also need people. We were made for human interaction and we need that, even for our health. But when we get overwhelmed, we may need to have a time of detachment. But we should never abandon our loved ones to accomplish this. We can always explain what we need before we go away for a while. Not everyone will understand, but at least we've handled it respectably.
Great tips! I agree that sometimes you have to get away from those who do not care about you like you care about them. It's not healthy. Once you are able to step back and evaluate the situation and realize you are better off, it makes life so much better.
Sometimes being our own best friend is really the best thing! Important to remember during the Christmas season, because as women we want to please everyone else. But who looks out for us?
Great post. I believe there is a healthy balance. And I believe that we must keep ourselves happy. If we rely on others to make us happy we will constantly be let down. Thanks for sharing! LifeAsLex
I feel like I've been perpetually detached over this last year of med school I'm in. Works really well for self-reflection, but sometimes, I do really miss having company. Having a balance would be nice! + definitely agreed that it's best not to rely on others for your own happiness!
There have certainly been people in my life where I've needed to unfollow as it was causing more harm than good. It's like you said when it's mutually beneficial it's amazing but when it's not it's really hard.
"Nothing should own you" … How right you are. Maybe the most profound thing I've seen this week, thanks.
I love this! It is so true. I haven't heard of this app but it sounds scary haha as someone who work in psychology it is crazy to think that people get anxiety from not having their electronics or to see how reliant they become of social media apps. Thanks for your insight!
Chandler @ Life as a Larsen
There definitely has to be a balance. We all need times of solitude, but we also need people. We were made for human interaction and we need that, even for our health. But when we get overwhelmed, we may need to have a time of detachment. But we should never abandon our loved ones to accomplish this. We can always explain what we need before we go away for a while. Not everyone will understand, but at least we've handled it respectably.
Anything that does not allow me to be me is a waste of time.
Great tips! I agree that sometimes you have to get away from those who do not care about you like you care about them. It's not healthy. Once you are able to step back and evaluate the situation and realize you are better off, it makes life so much better.
Sometimes being our own best friend is really the best thing! Important to remember during the Christmas season, because as women we want to please everyone else. But who looks out for us?
Great post. I believe there is a healthy balance. And I believe that we must keep ourselves happy. If we rely on others to make us happy we will constantly be let down. Thanks for sharing! LifeAsLex
I feel like I've been perpetually detached over this last year of med school I'm in. Works really well for self-reflection, but sometimes, I do really miss having company. Having a balance would be nice! + definitely agreed that it's best not to rely on others for your own happiness!
There have certainly been people in my life where I've needed to unfollow as it was causing more harm than good. It's like you said when it's mutually beneficial it's amazing but when it's not it's really hard.
You always have the best quotes mixed in with your posts. I love each and every one of them. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you so much for your kind words. 🙂